Divine Relationship

There seems to be a popular belief in spiritual circles that enlightenment is a singular, individuated path. It is a path which one walks alone, and the need for or attachment towards other people is merely an obstacle on the way. I personally would beg to differ.

I view enlightenment as a collective journey, in which all parts of the Self move to reunite with the whole. If only one aspect of Self reunites with the whole, this is not true enlightenment. Yes, it a step towards total union, but so long as other aspects of the Self have yet to awaken and merge with the Source, the job is not yet complete.

In buddhism, there is a term for a specific type of awakened being known as the bodhisattva. This class of awakened being attains enlightenment and thus reaches nirvana, yet from that space of total oneness, peace and bliss, chooses to come back and reincarnate in order to assist other beings on their journey home. This being knows that all parts of the Self are aspects of him/herself, and through this knowing understands that true enlightenment is not attained by oneself but it is attained collectively.

Nothing in this Universe can exist without relationship. If there is only one point, one singularity of consciousness, there is no relationship. Yet as soon as two points exist, that is the beginning of relationship. Everything in existential/experiential reality is subject to relationship. You have a relationship with your thoughts, your emotions, your body, other people, even with yourself, or at least you temporal, physically incarnated self. The atoms, molecules and cells which make up your body all exist in relationship to each other. Reality is nothing but the dynamic interplay of relationship, all parts relating to the others.

So relationship is not a choice, and it is certainly not an obstacle to enlightenment, it is a divine necessity. We need relationships, we need each other, or nothing could exist at all. The way to enlightenment, really, is through the perfection of our divine relationships. The way in which we relate to everything in our experience. The journey home is a journey of connection, not only connection with the formless and eternal awareness, but connection to the everythingness of manifested existence.

So the greatest practice one can partake in on the journey of awakening is the practice of unconditional love in all of their relationships. Where there is resistance, annoyance, hate, or irritation, this is your sign that there is still work which needs to be done. This does not mean to put up with abuse or to involve yourself in relationships which do not serve you, as this is not practicing unconditional love in the relationship with yourself. It simply means that all which arises in your experience is met with love, acceptance, and understanding, especially the parts which emotionally trigger you the most.

Enlightenment truly is not a separate process, but a unified one. Without total unity, there is no enlightenment, there is no true realization of Self. Awakening occurs through the dynamic process of divine relationship, of divine union with all aspects of Self. It is the recognition of the other as ultimately one with the Self, and through this realization the arising of unconditional love.

Honor Your Subjective Experience

We live in a reality that is, above all, a subjective experience. Sure, there may be objective truths which we all agree upon, yet still these objective truths are observed through a conglomeration of subjective points of view. You are you, I am me, and though the awareness which is the essence of your experience and my experience may be the same, the experience itself varies greatly. No matter how often spiritual teachers preach about oneness and unity, there is no escaping the relative truth of this Universe; it is, for all intents and purposes, a subjective experience.

Subjectivity is a beautiful thing. It results in uniqueness, nuance and variation. It gives rise to an infinite expanse of experiences for one to behold. Were there only one point of perspective in this Universe, there really couldn’t be any experience at all. The same way that there is really no time, space, or movement until two points arise, if there were only a single point of focus, nothing could really happen. There would be no experience, no contrast, no varying sensations and perceptions: there would simply be the isness of I, the only I there is. The I must fragment itself into multiplicity for experiences to arise.

The problem with subjectivity begins when you believe that everyone is experiencing what you are experiencing, and that everyone should know how you feel and what you are thinking at all times. It’s almost like a covert narcissism. You, being the center of your own Universe, believe that everyone around you should cater to your experience, that they should hold your subjectivity above all else, and that you should be the center of their Universe. But this is not the case. So when people do things that make you feel bad, instead of establishing healthy boundaries and being honest about the way you feel, you just expect them to know that they are making you feel bad and to stop what they are doing.

The divine source of this narcissistic and self-absorbed tendency arises from the truth that, in essence, we are all one. We all share the same basic nature which is the awareness or consciousness that experiences our own subjective reality. This universal awareness is what unites us beyond our apparent surface level differences. Yet we still must honor the subjective nature of this Universe, though true only relatively, and we must be authentic with our thoughts and feelings and establish healthy boundaries.

Too often we can get caught up in catering to someone else’s agenda because we wish to help and we wish to experience the love and belonging that comes along with helping others. But many times helping doesn’t actually feel good to us. It feels like self-hate. This is why you must honor your own subjectivity, you must hold tightly to your own personal truth, and you must even be willing to risk others not liking or accepting you in order to honor your own personal feelings and desires. Because nothing is more important than how you feel.

Everything we do is either consciously or unconsciously intended to make us feel better, so why not go straight to the better feeling instead of beating around the bush? Why sacrifice the way you feel now for some hypothetical better-feeling future that never comes? You must honor your subjective experience and do what is best for you. No one can and no one will do this for you. You must do this for yourself. Do what you know is right, and as Shakespeare once said, always “ To thine own self be true.”

The Power of Thought

The reality that you experience is a by-product of the thoughts that you think. Thoughts are information, or psycho-emotional impressions that over time imprint themselves upon the subconscious mind.

If thoughts are seeds, your conscious mind is the top-soil whereas the subconscious is all that is underneath. The origin of a thought could be likened to dropping the seed on top of the soil. Over time, the seed begins to sprout roots, and as it is watered and nurtured, the roots spread deep beneath the ground and into the subconscious mind.

The most frequently experienced and practiced psycho-emotional impressions become deep-seated core beliefs. These are often rooted by intense, traumatic experiences that happened during childhood. The vibrational signature of that experience created a recurring reflection in your external reality, which reflects your thoughts back to you.

Even more impactful than individual traumatic experiences were the constant impressions being made upon you by your family and the environment that you grew up in. You could think of these as the seeds that got the most water, sunlight and nutrients. Although the sustenance itself, in this case, is the attention and focus of your consciousness.

“Where attention goes, energy flows...and something grows.”

The more attention is focused upon a thought, the more energy it is fed, and the more it grows. This is the case regardless of the nature of the thought: whether it be positive, negative, or anywhere in between. It will begin to express itself in manifested reality in increasingly prominent ways.

Attention equals intention, and your intention is what your life becomes. There is not a force in this Universe more powerful than conscious intention. Remember that.

The Heart is the Way

"The heart is the space where desire meets will, where sexuality meets psychology, where yin meets yang. It is the conglomeration of mind and body, and together in unison they overcome each other to a transcendental state of pure loving bliss." 

 

The life experience of a human being can be summed up by three phenomena; mind, body and emotions. In other words the physical, mental and emotional experience. All three are intimately intertwined and interdependent. They are inseparable from one another yet can still be contextualized in a sense as three independently unique phenomena.

The heart is the center point of one’s life experience and the storehouse of all emotions. It is the starting point for your human incarnation and the primary point where spirituality and physicality unite. Therefore, the heart is the space for transcendence. The mind can mislead you, the body can even mislead you, but the heart never will. It is pure and unadulterated intelligence, far beyond the comprehension of the mind.

An open heart is the solution to all problems in life. Problems are an aspect of resistance, and resistance always begins with a closed heart. One cannot have their heart open and experience suffering and resistance simultaneously. The two are mutually exclusive. So the key is to focus on opening the heart and surrendering to the flow of life, which literally occurs in the heart as the flow of blood throughout your physical organism. When you do this, your resentments, judgments and confusions will melt away into a simple heart-centered compassion. All is allowed in the open space of your heart’s embrace.

You know your heart is truly open when your love and acceptance is unconditional. That is, it is not dependent on external or experiential phenomena manifesting itself in a certain way. There is no “should” when it comes to love. It is just there, no matter what, independent of whatever may arise.

The challenge is to keep your heart open in a world that is mostly closed. We have all been hurt and as a result have built walls around our hearts. The harshness and callousness of our collective society as a whole is a reflection of this internal state. So to keep one’s heart open in even the harshest of circumstances is great spiritual practice.  By doing so, you lead by example and give others an opening into a heart centered world view that will literally create heaven on Earth.

Should you catch yourself closing your heart off in fear, just remember that even this needs to be loved with self-compassion and forgiveness. The walls we have built around the heart to protect us have kept us safe in a harsh and unstable world. We felt too vulnerable to leave our hearts open as children and were hurt so many times by those we loved and thought loved us that we chose to close ourselves down. But we needn’t perpetuate this cycle anymore. To open the heart is a simple choice. Surrender above all, allow and accept all as it is, recognizing its inherent perfection and welcoming it with an unconditional embrace. Breathe it in deeply into your heart and feel yourself opening with each breath. That is the pathway to freedom.