Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Moving Through Emotional Pain

Every human carries an imprint of emotional pain due to the fact that we learn to repress, deny and dissociate from painful emotions as a coping mechanism. This results in an energetic density which holds us in patterns of suffering and ego identification. That is, the density has a gravity just like any other mass within the Universe and this gravity pulls us into identifying with it and creating mental stories that feed it.

The pain-body fractals itself through pulsations in the waveform of your reality experience. This results in your life feeling like a skipping cd, replaying the same old pain and trauma over and over again. It feels as if you can’t escape from these negative holding patterns no matter what you do. No surface level actions or rearranging of things will bring you freedom from these patterns. It requires diving deep into the core density and dissolving it from within.

The key to moving past the obstructions that keep one stuck in suffering is absolute presence with the emotions as they arise and full acceptance of the pain. You will notice the mind attempting to distract you from the pain, as it fears it, the way in which the ego fears death. Just witness the mind’s antics and come back to conscious witnessing of the feeling. Do not let yourself go into stories about the feeling, but rather observe it fully without any mental dialogue.  

Be conscious of any shame you may feel as you go through this process. Shame is a surface level reaction pattern which keeps one from moving fully into the dense and heavy emotions and transmuting them through presence, thereby disidentifying from them and achieving a higher level of enlightenment.

The densities that we hold onto prevent us from feeling truly content in the moment and experiencing the type of life that we really desire. The energetic frequency of our pain reflects itself in our conscious thought processes and causes us to focus on the opposite of what we desire, making us believe that we can’t have the life we truly want. This is merely an illusion however and as soon as you bring presence into these emotional contractions that take place within your field, following them to the root of the core imprint, you will began to think, feel and believe that the life of your dreams is not only possible but is your current, living reality. You merge into the perfection that is the now.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Honor Your Subjective Experience

We live in a reality that is, above all, a subjective experience. Sure, there may be objective truths which we all agree upon, yet still these objective truths are observed through a conglomeration of subjective points of view. You are you, I am me, and though the awareness which is the essence of your experience and my experience may be the same, the experience itself varies greatly. No matter how often spiritual teachers preach about oneness and unity, there is no escaping the relative truth of this Universe; it is, for all intents and purposes, a subjective experience.

Subjectivity is a beautiful thing. It results in uniqueness, nuance and variation. It gives rise to an infinite expanse of experiences for one to behold. Were there only one point of perspective in this Universe, there really couldn’t be any experience at all. The same way that there is really no time, space, or movement until two points arise, if there were only a single point of focus, nothing could really happen. There would be no experience, no contrast, no varying sensations and perceptions: there would simply be the isness of I, the only I there is. The I must fragment itself into multiplicity for experiences to arise.

The problem with subjectivity begins when you believe that everyone is experiencing what you are experiencing, and that everyone should know how you feel and what you are thinking at all times. It’s almost like a covert narcissism. You, being the center of your own Universe, believe that everyone around you should cater to your experience, that they should hold your subjectivity above all else, and that you should be the center of their Universe. But this is not the case. So when people do things that make you feel bad, instead of establishing healthy boundaries and being honest about the way you feel, you just expect them to know that they are making you feel bad and to stop what they are doing.

The divine source of this narcissistic and self-absorbed tendency arises from the truth that, in essence, we are all one. We all share the same basic nature which is the awareness or consciousness that experiences our own subjective reality. This universal awareness is what unites us beyond our apparent surface level differences. Yet we still must honor the subjective nature of this Universe, though true only relatively, and we must be authentic with our thoughts and feelings and establish healthy boundaries.

Too often we can get caught up in catering to someone else’s agenda because we wish to help and we wish to experience the love and belonging that comes along with helping others. But many times helping doesn’t actually feel good to us. It feels like self-hate. This is why you must honor your own subjectivity, you must hold tightly to your own personal truth, and you must even be willing to risk others not liking or accepting you in order to honor your own personal feelings and desires. Because nothing is more important than how you feel.

Everything we do is either consciously or unconsciously intended to make us feel better, so why not go straight to the better feeling instead of beating around the bush? Why sacrifice the way you feel now for some hypothetical better-feeling future that never comes? You must honor your subjective experience and do what is best for you. No one can and no one will do this for you. You must do this for yourself. Do what you know is right, and as Shakespeare once said, always “ To thine own self be true.”

Friday, June 23, 2017

Chasing the Phantom

We all have a phantom that we’re chasing. This phantom could be anything from health, wealth, freedom, romantic love, lasting peace, or even the highest levels of spiritual enlightenment. Any ideal state of being or life situation that we wish we could permanently abide in is the phantom we chase. But we can never seem to really find it. We may have glimpses, brief tastes of our most sought for desire, but it never stays. We are teased to the point of torment. But let me tell you this; the only thing worse than never getting what you want, is actually getting it.

Let me explain why. Before you got what you desired, you at least had hope. But as soon as you get it and you realize that it doesn’t really make you happy, your hope is taken from you. There is nothing left to chase, no idealistic goal to move towards, no tantalizing fantasy of the grass being greener on the other side of life. This is the point at which you have two choices; to either kill yourself, or to kill your idea of self.

The ego self has a great many mechanisms to maintain its own survival. Most of these are deeply habituated and have their roots in the subconscious. But the most powerful of all its survival mechanisms is the idea that things would be better if. If only this were the case, or that were the case, I could be happy. This is an inherent denial of the now, as wanting something else, by default, means that you do not want or accept what is. The problem with this is that all you ever have is what is at this moment. So you create a dynamic of continuous suffering. Yet the ego itself loves this, because it cannot survive without suffering. Resistance is the structural tension which holds the ego in place. Without it, the ego collapses in on itself. Without any suffering, the ego ceases to exist. Because without suffering, there is only complete love and acceptance of what is.

The Buddha said that there are two base causes of suffering. Attachment and desire. Without desire and without attachment, there is no suffering, and one’s true nature is fully realized. So what does it mean to have no attachment and no desire? It means that you do not cling to the fleeting forms and experiences that come and go in this temporal existence, and you also do not desire for things to be a certain way, for them to be other than the way that they are right now. This state of being is the essence of self-realization or enlightenment, as the true self, your true nature, is beyond all that comes and goes. It is untouched by passing sensations and experiences, and it is the only constant in an ever-changing reality.

The reason why we chase our phantom is because we believe on some level that the phantom is us. We believe that the only way to be our true selves is to achieve this certain state or circumstance and that only then can we be free from suffering. But the truth is that we first free ourselves from suffering by realizing that no state of being or circumstance could ever bring us lasting happiness or bring us closer to who we really are, and then our life circumstances fall into place effortlessly. At this point, we know that nothing that comes and goes can bring us happiness, so we don’t really care if things fall into place. There is no desire. And even if we do get what we want, we don’t care if it leaves us. There is no attachment. Therefore, we have found lasting freedom, we have achieved the ultimate liberation, and we have come to find that the destination had been exactly where we were standing all along.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Spiritual Impotency- Heeding the Call to Action

Over many years of investigating different spiritual beliefs, techniques and practices, I have come to find that the modern spiritual movement and its practices tend to be overly yin. Approaches devised for manifesting, healing and transforming one’s life involve quite a bit of passivity and very little overt action taking. Instead of being active players in the world, we instead sit back, relax, and wait for things to change. It is my belief that the time for meditating in a cave is over. Taking massive, intelligent and powerful action is the only real solution to creating world change and a society that we all actually want to live in.

A good example of spiritual impotency and passivity would be the most popular approaches toward utilizing the “Law of Attraction”. Many teachers say that all you have to do is visualize what you want and feel as if it is already a reality or you, and then it will just come to you effortlessly. They under-emphasize the value of hard work and dismiss the importance of hard and fast action taking. Then people become frustrated with the results they are getting and throw the baby out with the bath water. They start to believe that they don’t actually create their own reality. But wait a second. They forgot the other half of the equation. The inward psychology is only the foundation while the subsequent action you take is the structure that emerges forth into the world. Without it, there is really no point in having a foundation in the first place.

Then take a look at popular methods for dealing with intense emotions. Just sit with the feeling, go deeply into it, feel it fully. Observe it fully without any resistance and in doing so it will dissipate and transform. For me, this has been some of the biggest bullshit that I have ever come across. Focusing more on the feeling or the emotional pain would often times just drag me deeper into it. It wasn’t until I claimed my power and even got a little angry that I began to shift out of these depressive states via movement and taking action towards my goals and desires. I’m not saying that there is no place for being with yourself, the Universe is a blend of yin and yang energies and both are absolutely necessary for the functioning of the whole, we have just placed too much emphasis on yin practices and neglected the yang.

If your energy is naturally quite yin, this is not as much of a problem. But for men and women with potent masculine energy and drives, this can be incredibly destructive. Their approach to life becomes overly passive and they wonder why they feel depressed. This has been me for most of my adult life. I would sit around passively trying to change my life by going inward, feeling my feelings fully, and imagining a more ideal life. This was a decent starting place and had it’s use, but when the time came to move, to take action, to even get a little fired up and feel a sense of urgency to make a positive change in myself and the world at large, I just kept practicing the same impotent, yin techniques for life improvement and spiritual growth. And my life became a living hell.

This impotent approach to life creates men and women (especially men) who are, for lack of a better word, wussies. They don’t really stand for anything, they don’t hold strong to core values and beliefs, and they don’t take radical action on a daily basis to create the type of reality and world that they truly desire. Instead, they listen to society, institutions and the media, they work jobs to support a dysfunctional and ego-based economic structure, and they wait around hoping someone in the government or politics will change things for the better. And it never happens.

“If you don’t have something that you are willing to die for, then you aren’t really living at all”

In this world, you have to take action if you want to get anything done. While aligned action is by far the most effective and having a positive focus and emotional awareness is certainly of tremendous value, nothing ever happens until something moves. That’s the bottom line. If you feel stuck in your spiritual progress and in achieving your goals, try implementing some more yang practices into your day to day life. Take action, do something that scares you, practice cathartic release exercises, speak out and express yourself, vocalize your authentic truth and do not give a single fuck about what anyone thinks. Then watch things change.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Death and the Value of Life

“I do not believe that people seek the meaning of life so much as they seek the experience of being fully alive.” - Joseph Campbell

I witnessed someone die today. The irony is that not five minutes before this experience I was questioning whether or not I even wanted to continue with my own human existence. Whether or not I wanted to continue with a life that often times feels burdensome and void of real purpose and meaning. Not that I felt acutely suicidal, but merely in a state in which I felt the pointlessness of my mundane existence, knowing deep down that I could be living more fully, more vibrantly and purposefully.

I think that often times we walk through life oblivious to the fact that someday, we will die. We don’t like to reflect on this deeply sobering truth, because it threatens our personal ego, the person who we think we are. So we hide death, we lock old people away in nursing homes, we put dead bodies in caskets and fill them with fluids to preserve the body and then cover their face with makeup to make death more pleasant to look at. But why? Why is death so bad? It is a natural and normal part of life which should be celebrated the way that birth is. Because, as far as we’ve seen in all of human history, no one gets out of here alive.

So there, in the street by a corner store, a man lay dying. The people around him appeared to be in a state of simultaneous confusion and despair. A state which I imagine a lot of people experience when confronted with death. But there is a profound beauty in death. Without death, we could never really appreciate the magic and wonder of this all too impermanent existence. Our mortality is a burning fire, pushing us to be our best selves now, to taste the fullness that life has to offer, and to leave the most inspiring and impactful legacy that we can.

Awareness of death gives us a powerful context for life. We need not despair nor preoccupy ourselves with imaginary “problems, for as some wise sage once said, “this too shall pass.” None of us will be around too much longer. So the next time you see people; friends, family, strangers, bring into your awareness that these people, all of them, will one day die. It could be tomorrow. It could be 100 years from now. But either way, it will happen. And it is inescapable.

So I ask you, with this awareness of your own death, what are you doing with your life? If today were your last day, would you be content with the way in which you had lived it? What would you have done differently? And how can you live tomorrow differently so that you would be pleased if it did end up being your final day upon this Earth?

We have all heard the saying “Live everyday as if it were your last.” But how many of us actually do this? How many of us live every precious moment of our lives to the absolute fullest, to the best of our capacity in that very moment? Very few. Most of us live with blinders. We remain in monotonous, mundane routines that drain us of life, hoping that one day we will reach a place where we are free to live the life of our dreams. But that “one day” never comes. So the only choice is carpe diem. To seize the moment, to milk it for all it’s worth, and to arrive at death with a smile on our faces and joy in our hearts, knowing that we did everything we possibly could with this most precious of divine gifts: our human life.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

The Power of Thought

The reality that you experience is a by-product of the thoughts that you think. Thoughts are information, or psycho-emotional impressions that over time imprint themselves upon the subconscious mind.

If thoughts are seeds, your conscious mind is the top-soil whereas the subconscious is all that is underneath. The origin of a thought could be likened to dropping the seed on top of the soil. Over time, the seed begins to sprout roots, and as it is watered and nurtured, the roots spread deep beneath the ground and into the subconscious mind.

The most frequently experienced and practiced psycho-emotional impressions become deep-seated core beliefs. These are often rooted by intense, traumatic experiences that happened during childhood. The vibrational signature of that experience created a recurring reflection in your external reality, which reflects your thoughts back to you.

Even more impactful than individual traumatic experiences were the constant impressions being made upon you by your family and the environment that you grew up in. You could think of these as the seeds that got the most water, sunlight and nutrients. Although the sustenance itself, in this case, is the attention and focus of your consciousness.

“Where attention goes, energy flows...and something grows.”

The more attention is focused upon a thought, the more energy it is fed, and the more it grows. This is the case regardless of the nature of the thought: whether it be positive, negative, or anywhere in between. It will begin to express itself in manifested reality in increasingly prominent ways.

Attention equals intention, and your intention is what your life becomes. There is not a force in this Universe more powerful than conscious intention. Remember that.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

The Heart is the Way

"The heart is the space where desire meets will, where sexuality meets psychology, where yin meets yang. It is the conglomeration of mind and body, and together in unison they overcome each other to a transcendental state of pure loving bliss." 


The life experience of a human being can be summed up by three phenomena; mind, body and emotions. In other words the physical, mental and emotional experience. All three are intimately intertwined and interdependent. They are inseparable from one another yet can still be contextualized in a sense as three independently unique phenomena.

The heart is the center point of one’s life experience and the storehouse of all emotions. It is the starting point for your human incarnation and the primary point where spirituality and physicality unite. Therefore, the heart is the space for transcendence. The mind can mislead you, the body can even mislead you, but the heart never will. It is pure and unadulterated intelligence, far beyond the comprehension of the mind.

An open heart is the solution to all problems in life. Problems are an aspect of resistance, and resistance always begins with a closed heart. One cannot have their heart open and experience suffering and resistance simultaneously. The two are mutually exclusive. So the key is to focus on opening the heart and surrendering to the flow of life, which literally occurs in the heart as the flow of blood throughout your physical organism. When you do this, your resentments, judgments and confusions will melt away into a simple heart-centered compassion. All is allowed in the open space of your heart’s embrace.

You know your heart is truly open when your love and acceptance is unconditional. That is, it is not dependent on external or experiential phenomena manifesting itself in a certain way. There is no “should” when it comes to love. It is just there, no matter what, independent of whatever may arise.

The challenge is to keep your heart open in a world that is mostly closed. We have all been hurt and as a result have built walls around our hearts. The harshness and callousness of our collective society as a whole is a reflection of this internal state. So to keep one’s heart open in even the harshest of circumstances is great spiritual practice.  By doing so, you lead by example and give others an opening into a heart centered world view that will literally create heaven on Earth.

Should you catch yourself closing your heart off in fear, just remember that even this needs to be loved with self-compassion and forgiveness. The walls we have built around the heart to protect us have kept us safe in a harsh and unstable world. We felt too vulnerable to leave our hearts open as children and were hurt so many times by those we loved and thought loved us that we chose to close ourselves down. But we needn’t perpetuate this cycle anymore. To open the heart is a simple choice. Surrender above all, allow and accept all as it is, recognizing its inherent perfection and welcoming it with an unconditional embrace. Breathe it in deeply into your heart and feel yourself opening with each breath. That is the pathway to freedom.

Monday, May 1, 2017

The End of Suffering

"There is the state of being wrapped up in or identified with something, then there is the state of detached witnessing, and then there is the merging with it and the becoming of it; your presence transmutes it into itself. This point is the end of all suffering."

The unwillingness to experience even the worst hell is literally what creates it, as the resistance we have to suffering is what holds it in place. An open willingness to explore all experiences and sensations that could ever be is the essence of enlightenment.

The original polarity was the split between the essence and the experience, or the observed and the observer. This then fractured infinitely into a fractal of polarized reality, the mind being a by-product of such. We, as the eternal underlying essence, then lost ourselves in this fragmented and fractalized reality experience so that we could recognize ourselves once again to gain a higher level of self-awareness. It is a perfect ever-evolving eternal process of expansion and evolution both within and without. Both on the level of experience and the level of awareness, as both are perfect reflections of eachother.

This polarity is what in fact gives rise to all of creation. Nothing could be without it, there would be no matter, no sensation and no experience. It is the original split or division that occurred within the space of consciousness when it first had the desire to know itself. This polarity exists on an energetic spectrum. Everything in experiential reality is the same substance expressed at different frequencies, or imbued with ever-changing information. Hot and cold are really the same thing, just expressed differently. This difference in expression is what gives rise to the conception of duality.

Polarity is what gives birth to the conception of the "self" and the "other", both being mind-based perceptual delusions. The belief in the "other" gives rise to the feeling of separation and fear. We fear that which we feel is outside of our control, that which we feel is separate from us. But how could anything be separate from you if it all arises within your own consciousness, your own awareness? All that could ever be must be within the space of your consciousness, for nothing could exist without a witness for its existence. Your truest self is the space in which all that is arises, and all that arises is an inseparable part of that. So in reality, there is no other. There is only you.

Reality itself is an ever-flowing expression of life-force energy which perpetually emanates from the one. The movement occurs in a toroidal flow pattern, whereas the center point is the singularity of consciousness or awareness. Creation bursts forth, projects itself as an externalized reality experience, and is then perceived and received as the cycle repeats. This occurs at such a rapid rate that we have no conscious awareness of it. It appears to happen instantaneously.

In the picture above, you could think of one half of the sphere as being positive and the other half as being negative. Reality is the interplay of these two polarized forces, and so long as we believe in it and identify with it as being real or "self", we are stuck in this polarized dance of highs and lows, expansions and contractions, joys and sorrows. When we recognize our true Self as the singularity, we integrate polarity into the wholeness of the Self and transcend it all together.

When you surrender to the entire spectrum of happiness and suffering, of pain and joy, you transcend it by experiencing it all simultaneously. The way in which black is not truly a color, but is the absence of color because it absorbs the entire light spectrum, the state you achieve is not so much a feeling or emotion but rather all feelings and none simultaneously; it is the peace that passes all understanding. That which Jesus described as heaven and the Buddha described as nirvana. In other words, it is the end of suffering and the beginning of your liberation as a self-actualized being free to experience the infinite magnitude of creation in whatever way you choose.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

The Activation of Life-Force Energy

Life-force energy (also known as Prana or Chi in the East) is the vital energy that sustains us throughout the entirety of our lifetime upon this Earth. All illness and disease can be traced back to a blockage or hindrance in the flow of this life-force energy.

So in order to experience and sustain levels of optimal health it is necessary to release any physical, mental and emotional blocks to the flow of this life essence. Addressing all three of these aspects simultaneously is the most surefire way to create optimal flow in the fastest way possible.

Hindrances on the physical level consist of obstructions in the flow of fluids throughout the channels in your body, as the body is essentially a conglomeration of tubules and the fluids that run through them. On the mental level, blockages consist of negative and destructive thought-patterns that do not resonate with the natural and unimpeded flow of life. On the emotional level, blocks are experienced as negative emotional patterns such as grief, despair, fear or sorrow. These emotions tend to be out of proportion and often times unrelated to circumstantial events in your life experience.

Whenever there is any sort of block or hindrance, it exists on all three levels simultaneously. There is no exception to this rule. The three are absolutely intertwined and interdependent. While the block may have originated mainly on one level of the experience, it will always impact these three areas.

Take a physical injury for example. Say you are playing soccer and you suddenly fracture your leg. This impact clearly occurs first and foremost on the physical level. But as soon as the injury occurs you have thoughts of frustration, anger or despair. These thoughts then generate negative emotions that create another layer of pain and resistance along with the physical pain.

If total acceptance occurred as soon as the physical injury happened, then the subsequent emotional pain would not have been added on to the experience and instead the physical pain would be witnessed and held. The injury would heal much faster as you are not creating additional blockages in life-force energy, and the cause of the injury could also be realized and treated much more quickly, as it is my belief that no injuries or diseases occur physically without a precursor that is a deeper underlying vibratory pattern or imprint.

When energetic obstructions are released, the full activation of life-force energy comes down to one thing: living your life on purpose. When your entire waking state is devoted to moving in the powerful direction of your own personal bliss and individuated life purpose, when every move you make and action you take is directed toward the upliftment of human consciousness and the evolution of the whole, you become energetically activated in profound and indescribable ways. It is something that must be felt in order to be understood.

Finding your life purpose becomes immeasurably easier when energetic blocks are released. It will basically fall into your lap, as your natural movement and tendency then becomes following your expansion and joy. When there is no impediment to get in the way of your natural expression of life energy, it will express itself effortlessly and you won't even need to contemplate the nature of your life purpose. It will occur as a natural and spontaneous desire to move in a specific direction and channel your energy in a creative and impactful way. You will then become a self-actualized and self-activated being upon this Earth fulfilling your destiny in each and every moment :)

Friday, March 3, 2017

Healing Emotional Pain

The willingness to feel anything; the deepest pain or the most profound joy; is the greatest gift that you could ever give to yourself.

It is the absence of judgment and the end of all analysis. Simply being without projecting judgment on the nature of your experience, without personalizing, analyzing, or mentally repeating past experiences. No longer wrestling with the aspects of reality that the mind interprets as unacceptable. All is accepted because acceptance is who you are.

Pain without apparent cause teaches that context is not as important as it seems. What  good does knowing the causative factor do if the pain is still there? Can you love the demon without knowing what birthed it? Can you fully embrace it in it’s ugliness and apparent evil? That is the real question.

The mind seeks to understand in order to gain a sense of knowing and control. You know that everything is ultimately unknowable, it is a sacred mystery which can never be fully understood. You may observe the cause and effect of surface level phenomena, yet the ultimate causation of experiential phenomena, the underlying essence, can never be known or understood. The mind, however, fights this truth. It resists it and wrestles with it. It wants to know why, why is everything happening the way it’s happening, why do I feel the way that I feel? Why do problems constantly seem to arise, things seem to fall apart, just when something seems perfect it becomes flawed, just when you feel at peace a subtle agitation occurs. The perfect romance becomes a living nightmare, your ideal job situation turns into a suffocating prison, your young, youthful body becomes old, weak and brittle. Why? Because of your mind.

Nothing is as it seems. All which you experience is a mental projection, and all that you perceive is a mental interpretation. Without a judging mind, reality is no longer flawed. It is perfect. The painful emotion is loved and embraced instead of resisted. The spots or wrinkles on your face are seen as they are instead of viewed as a nuisance. Your car breaking down is just another experience instead of an untimely tragedy. When there is no judgment, there is no mental layer to your experience. There is nothing tainting it, blocking it, or weighing you down. There is simply experience as it arises. Nothing more and nothing less.

Most people have a subtle judge chatting away in the periphery of their experience. It categorizes things into a value system. Some things it looks down upon, others it looks up to, and others still it feels indifferent towards. Some things are seen as aggravating problems, some as hopeful solutions, and others as neutral projections of a thought based self. There are some things seen to cause pain and others to bring pleasure.

When judgment ceases, so does trying. If you can’t seem to lay down one then lay down the other. There is no more trying to be something you are not, trying to maintain a certain self-image, trying to feel differently than the way you feel. There is no trying to be present, trying to stop thought and find stillness, or trying to become enlightened. You simply are as you are in the here and now. And that is neither good nor bad. It just is.
When judgment and trying cease you make space for the arising of presence and unconditional love.

Pain shows you the blocks you still have which prevent you from opening fully to life. Pain is the result of the unwillingness to be fully present, to be fully alive. When you are in pain, a part of you doesn’t actually want to be here, doesn’t want to experience life. It views life as dangerous or bad, as something to be fought against. But the problem is that you are Life, so you are fighting against yourself. All wounds are self-inflicted, all pain is self-imposed.

The identification with a value system creates a disparity between the “self” and the “other”. Why is pleasure more valuable than pain? Why is an attractive man or woman more valuable than an unattractive one? Why is money more valuable than pine needles? Why am I more valuable than my fellow man? Or vice versa?

The mind’s value system is based in polarity and therefore implies an identification with polarity. All experiential manifestations are degrees on an energetic scale. Good and evil are simply opposite ends on the same spectrum. A palace made of gold and a hut made of shit are the same energy, just manifested differently. It is the mind that assigns value, believes in this system, and then creates problems and suffering as a result.

All experiential reality is an energetic continuum moving in a cyclical fashion. Something of high value now will inevitably dissolve into low value later, something that is evil may eventually become good, and your deepest pain will often transmute itself into your most profound joy. Nothing is ever as it seems, yet the mind does not know or understand this. It takes every surface appearance as reality, as absolute truth. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Reality is nothing but a fluctuating field of energetic vibrations, willing to shift into its apparent “opposite” at a moment’s notice. And this is what causes pain for the mind. It’s value system is challenged, polarity is threatened, and it loses its sense of understanding and control. Suffering is the result, and this suffering seems like a tremendous curse. Yet it is the greatest gift one could ever be given, because it allows for the dissolution of mind and ego and the opening into the Truth of reality itself.

The mind believes that it wants “things” but in reality we really just want the feeling of freedom from suffering. The mind believes that the attainment of things or experiences will liberate you when this could not be further from the truth. No experience or tangible thing can liberate you, only doing the inner work can. And this involves total and absolute surrender into the depths of your own shadow.

The seeking is an escape mechanism from your own pain, but we all reach a point at which the seeking no longer provides relief. This is the point at which you either lose yourself in despair or you completely let go and allow the pain to dissolve the illusion of self. This is the beginning of freedom, if you so choose.

It is easy to divert blame for your problems and pain to something external, such as collective society at large. But it cannot be the collective that is holding you back because the collective is merely comprised of a multitude of individuals. So what is it that is holding back the individuals of the collective? Dissonant vibrations composed of negative core thoughts, beliefs, and traumatic impressions that have been repressed and buried in the subconscious mind.

If you liken the subconscious mind to a garden, you could say that these are the weeds. So how do you uproot them? Simple. You gotta go in there, get your hands dirty, and pull that shit out. Only then can you deliberately and consciously plant your desired reality into the purified and fertile soil of your subconscious mind.

You can think of the conscious aspect of the mind as that which perceives and interprets reality and the subconscious as that which projects and creates it. Just as you can be conscious of your heartbeat yet cannot really control it consciously, you can be conscious of aspects of your experience that you cannot consciously control, because they have already been created through the subconscious. This is a highly useful and beneficial process, as skills that we learn are delegated to the subconscious mind in order to minimize energy expenditure and increase efficacy. Yet this becomes a problem when we consciously have negative and traumatic experiences and then come to negative conclusions about life because of them. This reshapes the subconscious according to the negative imprint and changes it’s filter and the way in which your experience of reality is generated.

You then begin to perceive and experience life according to this negative imprint that has been delegated to the subconscious, and you are not even aware that this is happening, because the very term “sub”-conscious implies that its functioning is below the level of your conscious awareness. But the one indicator we have which directly shows us the nature of the subconscious mind is our emotions. It is the feeling nature of our day to day life, and most especially the emotional triggers which arise in a way that is disproportional to outer circumstances. When you get “triggered” so to speak, it is a clear indicator that a core negative imprint has been activated. As your reality is filtered through this core feeling or belief, you experience pain as a result. This pain is calling you back to integrate that which is in the subconscious, to bring your conscious awareness into it, and transmute it into presence. So the key is to view these triggers in a positive regard as gifts that allow the full blossoming of your conscious awareness through the integration and transmutation of the subconscious mind.

The degree to which these beliefs and energetic imprints are lodged in the subconscious can vary greatly and can be incredibly deep in some cases. It all depends on the nature of your past experiences, most especially during childhood. Childhood traumas reshape the subconscious and create a negative filter that causes the original experience to be repeated over and over again in the present moment. But no matter how deep these imprints may go, there is always a way to overcome them, and moreover to use them as a benefit to become more fully here, more fully alive, and more fully yourself.

In order to do this, you must release both resistance and attachment to these aspects of the subconscious which you have taken on as part of your “self”. You have unconsciously identified with them, and so don’t truly want to let them go, because it threatens your sense of self and doing so can cause you to literally feel as though you are going to die. So the first step is in bringing awareness into the subtle attachment to your emotional pain. As you do this, it is very likely that you may feel some resistance arising and the desire to distract yourself. This is totally natural, as no one wants to feel pain. But simply bring your awareness into the resistance and watch is as closely as you can. Allow yourself to feel the pain fully, as if you have no other choice, as if you are surrendering into death itself. It is a metaphorical death you are experiencing so that you can be born again into a renewed and fully enlivened self.

Absolute surrender is absolutely necessary at this point. It is your unwillingness to surrender which causes you to cling to the past and hold onto these negative imprints. It is your need for control which continuously reactives the negative patterns in the subconscious and prevents integration into a whole and fully conscious self. When you surrender the need for control, the subconscious surrenders its imprints and patterning as it receives the message that you no longer need it to control reality for you. What may have very well served you in the past is no longer necessary in the present. When you do this, the energetic imprints in the subconscious mind are relinquished and subsequently dissolved into the vast spaciousness of your conscious presence.